


Blind but not Oblivious

by Jas1922



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Small mentions of Bullying, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-25 00:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jas1922/pseuds/Jas1922
Summary: Jongin is the school’s bear mascot who always cheers and watches on as his hopeless crush dazzles on the football pitch. Too bad he’s got social anxiety and is too much of a wimp to take off his mascot head whenever Kyungsoo so much as approaches him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Story first posted on AFF in Dec 2015, completed in Feb 2016.  
> 2\. Featured on AFF in Nov 2016.  
> 3\. This is a long one-shot with two parts and a bonus (smut), with minor edits from the original, posted here on AO3.

Jongin stared down at the huge bear mascot head in disdain. _Nope… No way I’m doing this again._ He rubbed at his face anxiously; he was determined to stick to his decision, but the hard thing was putting it across in words, and to not feel bad about it while doing so.

 

Even though it was Baekhyun he had to turn down, he still couldn’t find it in himself to convey it verbally. He’d always had problems with his speech along with his social anxiety because of a particular incident when he was young.

 

“You’re going to say no right?” His best friend eyed him and sighed. “You don’t even need to say it… I can tell from how you’re acting up.” Jongin hated to think that it was a disappointed look Baekhyun had on his face. _Stupid. You’re going to make Baekie upset with you._ To say he had low self-esteem would be a massive understatement.

 

“S-S-Sorry.” Jongin stuttered and turned away from the other, hands clenched tightly into fists.

 

“Hey, hey… it’s okay, Jongin. I’m not angry or anything, don’t beat yourself up like I know you’re doing right now.” Baekhyun held his hands and gave them a comforting squeeze. The last thing he wanted was for the younger to freak out. Jongin had episodes before where his social anxiety disorder could escalate to extreme situations.

 

Baekhyun shuddered inwardly at the memory of his best friend fainting the last time he had to give a presentation in class. All it took was everyone’s attention on him for Jongin to sweat buckets.

 

“Calm down, Nini.” He smiled encouragingly when Jongin peeked up at him from under his fringe. “It’s not your fault that my dumb boyfriend quit as mascot to join the football team anyways.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes dramatically. “How he even got in…he’s so clumsy.” He shook his head in amusement, staring out at the field where said team was training. He could just about make out the other’s beanstalk figure in the distance from where they were seated in the stands.

 

Jongin snorted and followed the other’s stare, ducking his heads shyly a mere second after for he had spotted a familiar player shouting out instructions to several of his attacking teammates. Baekhyun, who was still oblivious to his best friend’s reaction, rambled on. “I just thought of asking you, you know? Because you did such a good job the previous two times…”

 

Jongin hummed and stared at his own feet. He didn’t want to correct Baekhyun. His previous times acting as mascot consisted of him sitting on the bench (and not moving for the entire game). There was even once when he thought the other team was looking at him and so he went to hide behind a bush, only coming out after a cat hissed at him because _that’s my bush human._

 

“It’s also pretty last minute, I don’t even know who else to ask.” Baekhyun scratched at his head, a small smile growing on his face when he saw the football team being dismissed from training, Chanyeol already striding up to them. “I can’t possibly cheer and be mascot at the same time…” He sighed.

 

“I-I-I c-can d-do it, B-Baek…” Jongin relented. _Besides, it’s just a bear mascot right? No one would be able to see my face anyways. It wouldn’t be that bad… right?_ He hated to let Baekhyun down, anyone down, for that matter.

 

Baekhyun eyed him, a tad unsure. “Are you sure you can do it?” He didn’t mean it to sound like he was putting down Jongin. He just didn’t want to put his best friend in a situation where things could go horribly wrong.

 

Jongin shrugged and glanced at him with wide, imploring eyes. “I-I can j-just stand still r-right?” He asked, almost as if he was begging. At least he stuttered less when he was calmer. Baekhyun couldn’t help but coo at the other for he looked so much like a pouty puppy.

 

“Of course you can!” He reached out to ruffle Jongin’s bed of hair. Even though mascots were supposed to act hyper to pump up the crowd during games, but _screw the conventional_. Jongin nodded in relief.

 

“Hey babe.” A wide smile spread on Baekhyun’s face as Chanyeol drew nearer. Jongin shyly averted his eyes when the latter leaned down to peck his best friend’s cheek. “Hi Jongin!” Chanyeol gave his shoulder a pat, a tad too enthusiastically for his liking.

 

“H-Hi…” At least he gave a feeble wave even though he didn’t look up from the ground; the other has always been around Baekhyun, so much so that Jongin was no longer as uncomfortable around him.

 

He froze however when a pair of familiar cleats entered his line of sight from under his fringe. Familiar because he knew whom they belong to. Also because he’d been staring at their owner for far too long, so much so that it was easy to commit to memory.

 

“Hi Baek, hi Jongin… came to watch us train?” The voice, smooth like honey; every single word pricked Jongin’s heart just a little. He refused to look up. He wasn’t confident that he wasn’t blushing up a storm on his cheeks. _Oh my god. Oh my god. It’s him… Shit, shit, shit._

 

He was starting to hyperventilate, and he knew it.

 

So Jongin did what he always does in situations where he’s on the verge of breaking down. Jongin runs (or hides). He quickly grabbed onto the bear mascot head sitting beside him on the stands and shoved it over his own head. His arms and legs were still fidgeting, though his body remained rigidly upright.

 

Jongin thinks he hears Baekhyun slapping his forehead and Chanyeol letting out a snort.

 

“Jongin, are you okay? Jongin?” A worried voice that sounded too close to his ear made him look up. Now Jongin was more than relieved that he had the bear head as cover for he was surely red in the face and _sweating_ because his crush’s face was inches away from his.

 

Or rather, inches away from the bear head’s.

 

_Do Kyungsoo_. Football captain and most popular guy in school. There isn’t one person in the entire school who doesn’t know who Kyungsoo is, who doesn’t respect and admire him, who doesn’t like the quarterback in some way.

 

Jongin gulped and clutched onto his bear head suddenly, startling Kyungsoo to straighten up and step back a little.

 

“I’m sure Jongin’s fine.” Baekhyun decided to speak out for the other, knowing that he wasn’t capable of replying any time soon. Jongin jerked his head up and down to add that little bit of assurance, the bear head bobbing aggressively. 

 

“Oh… okay.” He saw Kyungsoo’s face fall a little, which made Jongin nibble on his bottom lip anxiously. He knew the way he was acting could appear rude and aloof to the other. But the fact was he’s just incredibly shy. Jongin frowned, already berating himself for assuming that he’d upset Kyungsoo with his ‘cold’ attitude. 

 

However, the football captain knows that he had social anxiety. The whole school knows. But Jongin has always been self-conscious and a little negative.

 

“Are you playing mascot again for our game on Friday, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked. It warmed his heart because he knew the other was trying to make conversation with him. _Do Kyungsoo, nicest guy on the planet. Even willing to talk to stuttering me. What an angel._ Jongin bobbed his bear head again, clutching at it to stop it from moving after a few nods. He could hear the other chuckling softly. It was a kind laugh for sure.

 

“Soo. We should go shower before all the warm water runs out.” Just as Jongin’s heart lifted at the thought that Kyungsoo was laughing because of him, and not _at_ him, the ropes came back to bind his heart, constricting, suffocating him.

 

Because where there is Do Kyungsoo, there is also Oh Sehun.

 

Some would call them best friends; they’d known each other since young anyways. Baekhyun had assured him repeatedly that the two were _just_ best friends. But Jongin, along with the majority of the school’s population, thinks that they are more than that. After all, they were so close that at times, it almost looks as if they are a couple.

 

Oh Sehun was another reason why Jongin finds it hard to approach Kyungsoo. That, his social anxiety, speech problem and of course, general shyness.

 

“Okay.” Kyungsoo hummed. Jongin looked up just in time to see Sehun wrapping an arm around the other’s shoulder, carefully steering him away from them. “See you tomorrow guys!” At least the latter made an effort to wave them goodbye.

 

Jongin’s heart totally didn’t skip a beat when he saw Kyungsoo’s eyes linger on him before he turned his head away.

 

“Argh, Jongin!” Baekhyun groaned and held onto the bear head gently. “When are you going to stop acting shy around Kyungsoo and just tell him you like him?” Chanyeol was nodding his head along with his boyfriend’s words. 

 

“B-But S-S-Sehun…” His words came out a little muffled because of the costume, but the other two heard him just fine.

 

“I told you they aren’t together!” Baekhyun threw his hands in the air exasperatedly. Jongin duck his head, legs still jiggling -- it was one of his bad habits when he got nervous. 

 

“You’re scaring him.” Chanyeol whispered harshly into Baekhyun’s ear before patting Jongin’s knee comfortingly. “Hey buddy… it’s okay to confess your feelings to Kyungsoo. We can tell he likes you too from the way he treats you.”

 

_But he treats everyone well._ Jongin bit down on his bottom lip as the words failed to emerge from his mouth. _I’m no one special._

 

“Also, because we can see that Sehun’s growing irritated.” Baekhyun’s words next were what made him perk up. 

 

“W-What?” Jongin mumbled. 

 

“Kyungsoo pays you a lot of attention.” Chanyeol whispered before winking at him. “We can tell Sehun dislikes this.” Jongin couldn’t help but feel happy. _Does this mean Kyungsoo might really like me?_ His hope went up. “We think Sehun likes Kyungsoo, but the other merely treats him as his best friend.” Baekhyun added.

 

“So you’ve got more than a half chance, baby bear!” A small smile crept up Jongin’s face as his cheeks heated up. Baekhyun and Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile fondly when the other placed his palms over his bear cheeks.

 

“A-Are you s-sure?” Jongin stuttered, voice lightening up significantly. 

 

“Yes!” Baekhyun almost yelled. “So tell him you like him soon, okay?” Chanyeol wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s waist as they made to stand. 

 

“O-Okay…” Jongin nodded. His friends seem satisfied with his answer.

 

But Jongin wasn’t so sure himself.

 

 

“Hi Jongin, mind if I sit here?” Kyungsoo’s sudden voice so close to his ear, amplified by the silence in the library, made Jongin jolt and hit his knees on the table he was sitting at. _Owww…_ Jongin whimpered and bit his bottom lip to silence himself. 

 

“I’m sorry!” Kyungsoo rushed out and crouched beside him, rubbing at his knees in a desperate attempt to remove the pain.

 

Jongin yelped and jerked his knees away from the other’s touch, surprised by Kyungsoo’s sudden care. He also saw that everyone’s attention was now on him because of the commotion he’d created, and he didn’t like it one bit.

 

Jongin didn’t see the slight hurt in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

 

“I-I-I’m o-okay…” His eyes darted around to survey his surroundings. _Dammit._ Jongin didn’t have his mascot head to hide in. He started to bounce his knees and nibble on his bottom lap anxiously, well aware of the fact that Kyungsoo was still _too near_ and _still_ staring at him. He’d dreamt about those big eyes staring at him, _and only him_ , for far too long, but why was he feeling more self-conscious now?

 

“So…” Kyungsoo cleared his throat awkwardly. “Can I sit beside you?” The quarterback settled himself onto the couch beside Jongin’s even before he could reply; the latter didn’t even make an effort to stop him. “I saw you reading by yourself… thought I could join you.” Jongin’s face flushed at Kyungsoo’s smile, though he did offer the other a shy nod.

 

A quick look around showed that they were plenty of vacant seats near them, and yet, he chose to sit beside him. Jongin didn’t know what to make of it. 

 

_Kyungsoo pays you a lot of attention._ Chanyeol’s words from before drifted into his mind. _Is this really true_ , he couldn’t help but wonder, heart full of hope that maybe, maybe, it was possible between them.

 

“What are you reading?” Kyungsoo whispered (because they were in a library after all). 

 

Jongin fingered the spine of the book nervously before mumbling out a soft “T-The Boy with T-The C-Clown Face”. Kyungsoo brought his legs up and curled into a comfortable position, body turned fully towards Jongin; like an open invitation for him to tell him more.

 

“D-Do y-you want t-t-to hear a-about i-it?” Jongin hung his head shyly. He didn’t know where he got the courage to ask. Kyungsoo’s smile was beautiful as he nodded enthusiastically. 

 

“I like hearing you speak.” Kyungsoo graced him with a smile.

 

If it was any other person saying that, Jongin would have misunderstood at once and thought that they were being sarcastic and digging his speech. But since it was Kyungsoo, and because he can see the sincerity in his eyes with no barb in his words, Jongin knew that the other meant what he said. He smiled before averting his eyes shyly when he realized he’d been staring at the other for too long.

 

“O-Okay…” Jongin nodded before flipping through the pages briefly. He couldn’t help but notice the horde of girls standing behind the shelf nearest to them, shuddering inwardly when some gave him death glares because apparently they didn’t like how Kyungsoo was hanging out with him, hanging out with a _loser_. But the other’s encouraging smile was enough to push him onwards. His fingers were awkwardly stiff as he tried to flip through the book.

 

“I-It’s a-about this b-boy… h-he wasn’t-t always a c-clown.” Jongin looked up nervously to check if Kyungsoo was following. The latter smiled and nodded for him to go on, leaning even closer till his knee touched Jongin’s thigh. “T-T-The boy u-used to b-be a p-prince before somet-thing happened t-to him.” He wasn’t even referring to the book anymore, too focused on the small contact. 

 

“What happened to the prince?” Kyungsoo asked softly, eyes blown wide apart in curiosity though there was a hint of _something else_ in the way he looked at Jongin.

 

Jongin gulped, “He h-had an accident-t… H-His parents d-died in t-that accident a-and since t-then, h-he became d-different.” He hung his head and hugged his knees to his chest, curling more into himself. Kyungsoo’s hand fell off his leg.

 

“Different?” The other cocked his head and reached for the book, but Jongin snatched it away and hugged it to his chest, shooting the other an apologetic look after. 

 

**It was a story he wanted to tell Kyungsoo.**

 

“D-Different…” Jongin nodded and looked down at his lap. “H-He saw h-his parents d-die a-and… a-and…” Kyungsoo placed his palm on Jongin’s knee when his bad habit started again. Now, Jongin was too aware of the other’s warm touch. “H-He tried t-to s-shout f-for h-h-help but _he c-couldn’t._ ”

 

He looked up at Kyungsoo and it was only then that the other noticed the glazed over eyes. “Then what happened?” He asked. 

 

Jongin took in a deep breath before glancing down. “H-He became d-different a-and everyone l-laughed a-at him… He b-became a c-clown.” Kyungsoo didn’t know why his heart clenched at the heavy sigh escaping Jongin’s lips. “H-He was a p-popular p-prince. W-Well-liked. B-But he fell…”

 

“So he fell from grace and became a clown? Everyone disliked him for being different and shunned him, which explains why he became _the boy with the clown face_?” Kyungsoo sanctioned a guess. Jongin nodded, mouth slightly gaping in awe because _how did he know?_ He was really certain the other hadn’t read the book before. 

 

“H-He was l-lonely because no o-one liked h-him anymore… h-he had v-very little f-friends left.”

 

Kyungsoo hummed before propping his chin up with his arms. “I think I disagree with your view, Jongin.” The said man gave a double take. 

 

“Y-You mean y-you disagree w-with w-what the author-r w-wrote?” Jongin whispered. Kyungsoo waved his hands dismissively, and Jongin wondered if the other knew. 

 

**Knew that the book ‘The Boy With The Clown Face” was nothing like what he’d just described.**

 

Because there was no such book in the first place, it was Jongin’s own story.

 

“Being different doesn’t necessarily make you bad. In fact, we should all learn to embrace our differences.” Kyungsoo smiled. The way the other said it almost made Jongin feel it was meant for his ears. “It wasn’t the boy’s fault that he was seen as a clown. He only became one because the people around him were too stupid to see otherwise.”

 

“He wasn’t a boy with a clown face… he was the rightful prince that had on a temporary mask of a clown. That’s a big difference.” Jongin smiled shyly when Kyungsoo rounded off his small speech. “No one likes him, but _I do_.” Kyungsoo leaned back slightly when he felt a small blush building on his cheeks.

 

Kyungsoo gave his knee a gentle squeeze, eyes twinkling as he smiled kindly at Jongin. The latter stiffened, unused to the skinship and mighty aware of the glares from people near them. “So don’t think the boy became a clown, Jongin.” Jongin gulped at the intense stare Kyungsoo was giving him. _Like he meant something else._ “I still think he’s a prince… and we are all undeserving of his beauty.” The two were trapped in a bubble of comfortable silence before Kyungsoo cleared his throat in an attempt to break the silence subtly.

 

“Uhm… look Jongin…” The other looked so shy, rubbing at the back of his neck. Jongin didn’t know if the pale pink on his cheeks could qualify as Kyungsoo blushing. “Do you want to h-” Whatever he wanted to say got cut abruptly when Sehun arrived at their table. 

 

“There you are!” The latter panted as he half-leaned against the edge, staring at Kyungsoo. Sehun barely glanced over at Jongin.

 

“Coach wants to see us. Something about alternative game plans for Friday.” Sehun jerked his head over his shoulder. Kyungsoo sat upright at once, glancing over at his best friend before turning back to Jongin. The words he wanted to say to the latter stayed stuck in his throat. 

 

“I…” Jongin waited patiently, Kyungsoo looked as if he was contemplating something before he gave the other a slight shake of his head.

 

Jongin deflated somewhat.

 

“I’ve got to go…” Kyungsoo cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thanks Jongin.” He gave Jongin’s knee a final squeeze before standing up, “I’ll see you around?” Kyungsoo smiled when Jongin gave him a bashful nod. 

 

“B-Bye…” He stuttered.

 

Jongin prides himself in not flinching when Sehun glared back at him, Kyungsoo oblivious to it all.

 

 

“Hey guys, it’s the s-s-stutter boy again!” Jongin curled into himself, pulled down his hood some more, before quickening his steps. He was used to this -- the verbal abuse he gets whenever he walks down this particular stretch of road from school to his neighborhood. “Don’t ignore us pretty boy…” The usual big bloke leered at Jongin, walking close beside him.

 

Beads of sweat were already starting to form on Jongin’s forehead, him mumbling to himself anxiously. Baekhyun usually walked him back, but his best friend had a date with Chanyeol today and couldn’t this time round. After all, Jongin didn’t want the other to think that he was obligated to keep him company all the time.

 

The group of boys from their neighboring school rarely picked on him because of Baekhyun’s presence. This time, Jongin was truly vulnerable.

 

“Hey, I’m talking to you!” The leader (Jongin assumes) bumped into his side angrily. Jongin stopped walking altogether and hung his head low. He could feel the rest crowding around him and their leader. He felt suffocated by their presence and stares. Jongin flinched when someone grabbed his bag away from him, a soft whimper escaped his lips when the contents of his bag were spilled onto the gravel path.

 

“Cat got your tongue?” The leader poked at his cheek before laughing. “Oh right, I forgot you don’t s-s-speak well.” The rest of the gang joined in his insults. _Stop, please._ Jongin shifted back and forth on his left and right feet. _Stop._ He was not in any way weak physically, far from it in fact, but his weakness has always lied in his mind.

 

“S-S-Stop.” Jongin whispered, but the boys ignored him (either that or they couldn’t hear him) and started jostling him around the small circle they’d formed. His hands came up to cover both his ears and he tried to run, failing when he hit the leader’s face in his wild struggle out of the surrounding circle. 

 

“How dare you hit me?” Jongin crouched down with his hands covering his head protectively, muttering to himself almost hysterically, his occasional breakdown imminent.

 

He was waiting for the first kick, for the first punch. But what he heard was a familiar voice yelling, “Stay away from him, you bastards!” _Oh no._ Jongin’s head whipped up, eyes darting around to spot the other man. _No, no… you stay away. Don’t come here, Kyungsoo._ He didn’t want to involve the other in this stupid debacle. But Kyungsoo came rushing up to him anyways.

 

The said man looked every bit furious as he stormed into the scene, shoving the nearest boy to Jongin away easily. “How dare you… Touch him again and I’ll cut off your fingers. I SAID BACK OFF!” He hissed before crouching down beside a shuddering Jongin.

 

“Jongin, it’s okay. Jongin hey…” Kyungsoo grabbed onto the other’s shoulders gently. “It’s me, Kyungsoo. I’m here now… it’s going to be okay. Just calm down, Jongin.” His heart weighed heavily at the distraught in Jongin’s eyes. Kyungsoo certainly wasn’t expecting the hard shove on his back.

 

“K-Kyungsoo!” Jongin yelled out as the boy went sprawling onto the ground, groaning as he scraped his kneecap. However, the other boy barely looked bothered by his own pain as he scrambled back to Jongin’s side. “It’s going to be okay, Jongin.” He reassured, wiping at the stray tears escaping the younger’s eyes before turning around to yell at the bullies. “Back off you punks!”

 

That seemed to spark a fire in the other boys for they started to kick out at the both of them on the ground. Kyungsoo desperately shielded Jongin’s body with his own, only emitting soft grunts whenever their feet made contact with his, whereas the latter was outright sobbing because _Kyungsoo was getting hurt because of him._

 

“S-S-Stop…” Jongin whispered and gripped onto the other’s shirt more tightly.

 

There was laughter. The bullies crowing in laughter as they rained kicks and punches down on the both of them, Kyungsoo absorbing most of the hits. _Help…_ Jongin wanted to yell for help. But for the second time in his life, he found the words lodged in his throat. He couldn’t. There was a drop of blood that must have come from the small cut at the edge of Kyungsoo’s brows that fell on Jongin’s cheek. His heart fell because yet again, someone was getting hurt because of him.

 

Someone he treasured.

 

In a second, all his memories came flooding back. The scene of him acting playful and demanding that his father play with him, the scene of his mother trying to stop him because the other was busy driving, the sound of screeching tyres and desperate horns, the crash and then the pain.

 

The physical pain in his neck and the pain of watching his unconscious parents beside him, we all knew which was more excruciating. He tried yelling out for help, for someone to save his mum, his dad. But no words escaped his lips. As a small boy who had just experienced an accident, the shock was enough to render him speechless. He couldn’t yell out for help.

 

And Jongin has blamed himself for it every day since.

 

That was the first time his speech failed him. Sadly, it wasn’t going to be the last. After that accident, he did develop a speech impediment, which worsened as time went by because of the amount of bullying he had suffered as a result of his stuttering. His condition made him afraid of people; every time he was placed in the centre of attention, Jongin would think of bullies and crude words. Sometimes even harsh beatings.

 

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo voiced out amidst the continuous assault because he could feel the younger trembling in his hold. It was all too much for Jongin and he shut his eyes desperately, willing for all the pain to go away. _Please, please stop…_ He pleaded inwardly. But the respite never came and Jongin caved.

 

The last he heard before slipping into unconsciousness was Kyungsoo yelling his name. The sweet voice he yearned to hear every day calling for him. The touch of the other on his cheeks warm and very much appreciated, but Jongin’s body had already gone slack.

 

 

He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, but Jongin figured that quite a substantial amount of time must have passed because when he woke, day had made way for night. He emitted a soft grunt before attempting to push himself up into a sitting position. From the bare room and equipment beside him, Jongin figured that he’d been warded in a hospital room.

 

“He’s awake, Baek!” He heard faint shuffling of feet before his best friend’s face popped into his line of sight. The boy looked like he’d been crying and Chanyeol didn’t look much better. 

 

“Are you okay, Jongin?” Baekhyun reached out and held his hands gently, giving them a slight squeeze.

 

There were some bruises on his left arm, but other than the occasional sting he gets when he touches that part of his skin, Jongin walked away with practically no injuries. 

 

“I’m o-okay…” He gave Baekhyun a hesitant nod. “W-What happened?” Jongin frowned before letting out a sharp gasp. _Kyungsoo… The bullies…_ “Those assholes gave you trouble when I wasn’t there.” Baekhyun hung his head. “I’m not letting you walk home alone from this day onwards!” His best friend declared.

 

“We heard from Kyungsoo that you’d fainted midway.” Chanyeol added. Jongin remembered the way Kyungsoo shielded him from the hits, he remembered the other’s constant reassurances to him that everything was going to be fine, and he remembered that single drop of blood. 

 

“W-Where is he?” Jongin panicked and swung his leg to the edge of the bed, more than committed to track down the other.

 

“He’s fine!” Baekhyun rushed out, shooting his boyfriend the evil eye when Chanyeol let slip that “He didn’t look fine at all”. Jongin’s heart fell because the latter’s admission made him feel extremely guilty. “He’s fine, Jongin.” Baekhyun pushed him back onto the bed as gently as he could. “Kyungsoo’s a tough guy, he’s fine. I promise.”

 

Chanyeol didn’t meet his eyes when Jongin glanced at him.

 

“A couple of bruises and nasty cuts. No internal damage so that’s more than good news right?” Baekhyun tried for a smile but Jongin wasn’t buying it. 

 

“I-I need t-to see him…” The younger struggled to get out of bed again. His heart couldn’t take it that he’d let the ones he cherish get hurt again.

 

_I’m nothing more than a burden._ Jongin was bashing himself up inwardly. _A disgrace, that’s what you are Jongin. Trash._

 

Before Baekhyun could get Chanyeol to forcefully settle Jongin back in bed, the door slid open and Kyungsoo walked in, Sehun not far behind his best friend. _Of course…_ Jongin sighed. There was a nasty cut above Kyungsoo’s brow, one that surely must have required stitches to mend, not to mention the dark bruise on his right cheek. Jongin hated to think how many more bruises were hidden under his clothes.

 

“Oh, you’re awake Jongin. Are you okay?” Kyungsoo hurried to his side. 

 

_Are you?_ Jongin wanted to ask. He gave the other a small nod, turning his face away because he didn’t want to stare at Kyungsoo’s cheek for a second longer. Jongin wanted to say _thank you_ , he knew he should say it, but somehow his words failed him yet again.

 

Kyungsoo looked disappointed at Jongin’s reaction but still let out a soft “I’m glad.” It was Chanyeol that broke the short period of awkward silence that followed. 

 

“You’ll be fine for the game this week right? No broken ribs or anything?” The tall guy placed a worried palm on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

 

The quarterback was their team’s prized asset -- the captain. No way they would win easy without Kyungsoo leading the line. Jongin’s eyes glazed over with worry. He didn’t want to be the single reason for their football team’s downfall.

 

“He’ll be fine for the game.” Sehun said, reaching out to ruffle Kyungsoo’s bed of hair, almost affectionately. “He would rather die than miss it, won’t you Soo?” The smaller man chuckled and swiped at Sehun’s arm weakly. 

 

“Even if I lose an arm, I still won’t entrust the team plays to you, dummy.” Kyungsoo joked.

 

Half of Jongin was relieved that the other seemed just fine if he was able to joke like that, half of Jongin was saddened that he had almost taken away the one thing Kyungsoo treasured the most if he’d been too badly hurt because of him – playing football.

 

Jongin didn’t know that Kyungsoo valued something else or rather, _someone else_ , more than the sport itself. If he had paid attention instead of burying his face into the pillow and feinting sleep, prompting the four boys to leave for home, Jongin would have seen the parting look Kyungsoo gave him.

 

He was oblivious to it now, but how much longer would he stay blind?

 

 

There were eyes on him, plenty of eyes, and truth be told, Jongin was starting to sweat under his new woolen top. “W-Why are t-t-they all s-staring at m-me…” He half-whined and ducked behind Baekhyun as they walked down the hall. His best friend’s smaller frame meant that his attempt to hide away from the rest proved futile.

 

Baekhyun scowled at everyone who was eyeing Jongin and wrapped his arm protectively around the other’s waist, slowly rubbing circles at his lower back. “I’LL POKE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND HAVE THEM FOR DESSERT IF YOU KEEP STARING!” Baekhyun growled out at a group of cheerleaders standing by the water fountain. “Grrr…” He even made clawing motions, which made him even more adorable in Chanyeol’s eyes.

 

Apparently, the whole school knew that Jongin was somehow involved when Kyungsoo got his facial injuries. Everyone didn’t care _why_ it had happened, they only knew how to point fingers to the one responsible for hurting their star footballer. Especially since a big game was coming up. News had spread that a beaten up Kyungsoo was seen carrying Kim Jongin, the stutter boy, out of a back alley and into a cab near the school’s entrance yesterday.

 

Though most might have guessed (correctly) that Kyungsoo must have done something valiant to save Jongin or whatnot, everyone had long since judged that it was Jongin’s fault anyways; if not for how pathetic he is, Kyungsoo wouldn’t have needed to save him, which put himself at risk.

 

How wrong people’s perceptions are most of the time.

 

“You okay, Jongin?” Chanyeol asked, eyes still gazing at his boyfriend fondly. Baekhyun’s head turned towards Jongin at once. “Yeah, ignore them, Nini…” The said boy gulped and nodded jerkily. _Easier said than done…_ Jongin head was hanging so low it made Baekhyun’s heart ache because _Jongin shouldn’t be feeling so insecure all the time_.

 

His best friend was a wonderful person – nice, kind, and utterly handsome too (though Jongin would deny this in a heartbeat). In other words, Kim Jongin was a godsend gift from the heavens. His only weakness was his lack of self-confidence, insecurity and broken past, which continues to haunt him till this day. Unfortunately.

 

_You deserve every happiness, Jongin…_ Baekhyun sighed and took quick notice of the look of worry on Kyungsoo’s face, the latter standing by his locker, as they passed him in the hallway.

 

_I hope you find your happiness soon._

 

 

“We need to talk, Kim Jongin.” The cold tone made him freeze over in his position – bent over as he washed his hands at the sink after using the loo. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Not the warm, mellow tune Kyungsoo possesses, but the direct, sometimes blunt, voice of one Oh Sehun.

 

Jongin straightened up and backed away slightly when Sehun walked up towards him after locking the toilet door. _Shit… is he going to beat me up?_ Jongin’s eyes started darting everywhere anxiously. _Is Kyungsoo here?_ The two often came in a pair anyways. But strangely, it didn’t look like the other was here today. 

 

“Relax.” Sehun snorted, “I’m not going to beat you up.” He said it with such a straight face that Jongin had a hard time believing him. He briefly wondered if he should spray water in Sehun’s eyes before making a dash for it. _Who am I kidding?_ Jongin groaned inwardly. Sehun was one of the fastest members in the football team; he would have Jongin beat before the latter could even take a step towards the door.

 

“W-What do y-you want?” Jongin took a step to the left, a discrete step closer to one of the toilet cubicles. He had half a mind to lock himself in one and wait for Sehun to grow tired and leave. “Kyungsoo.” Jongin found his eyes widening at the single word that had left the other’s mouth. 

_You want Kyungsoo?_ Jongin cocked his head. “I want to know what you think of him.” Sehun continued. And Jongin felt his heart beat again.

 

For a second there, he’d thought Sehun meant that he wanted Kyungsoo, in the literal sense. _He probably does…_ Though Jongin would never have pegged him as the kind to admit it out loud.

 

“K-Kyungsoo?” Jongin wanted to slap himself for the half-squeak he let out. “Kyungsoo.” Sehun nodded and folded his arms. 

 

“Do you like him?” The other went straight to the point. It’s as if he was just waiting for Jongin to admit his feelings before beating him to a pulp.

 

Jongin gulped. _Of course I liked him…_ Jongin nodded. “Y-Yeah? T-The whole s-school likes-s him… K-Kyungsoo-sshi is o-our captain and I-I am h-his fan.” You can’t blame him for deciding to play it safe. Sehun’s scowl probably told him that the other didn’t buy it one bit. Jongin jolted and might have let out a tiny whimper when Sehun punched at a cubicle door, it swinging to hit against the wall violently.

 

“Cut the crap.” Sehun growled. Jongin took a small step back as the other advanced towards him. “Listen here, Kim Jongin.” The other ran his long fingers through his bed of hair. “I don’t get what Kyungsoo sees in you… I will _never_ get it because to me you are not worthy of his attention.” Jongin could barely register what Sehun meant with his words, though hurt flashed pass in his eyes.

 

“The way you speak, the way you look… everything about you irks me.” Sehun gave him a look of disdain, “Everything.” There were no punches, no kicks, but the barb in the other’s words were equivalent to every bullying incident Jongin has ever encountered. 

 

_Yes, I am not worthy to like Kyungsoo. Look at yourself, Kim Jongin… you’re a loser, a disgrace._ Jongin’s head hung lower and lower as tears threatened to emerge from his eyes.

 

He wanted nothing more than to bury his head in the ground.

 

“Do you not hear what people are already saying about him?” Sehun hissed. “First you caused his injuries and now he’s starting to get called names for associating himself with you…” Jongin flinched and stared down at his feet, already starting to hyperventilate the closer Sehun stood, the latter’s voice amplified in the enclosed space of the washroom.

 

“His popularity could go straight down the drain, don’t you know that?” Sehun scowled, “Do you want the students to treat him like how they’ve been treating you?” Jongin shook his head frantically, finally allowing a single tear to trail down his cheek. 

 

“N-No…” He whispered. “ _Pathetic._ ” Jongin thought he heard Sehun mutter. “Kyungsoo’s a nice guy, that’s why he saved you from the bullies.”

 

“That’s a one-off… Don’t think he will care for you again, you’re nobody special.” Somehow, the words ripped into Jongin’s heart, shredding any of his last remaining hope that there could be something possible between Kyungsoo and himself. “You’ve done enough. Now stay away when I’m saying it nicely…” Sehun gave him a last glare before taking his leave.

 

_You’re nobody special…_

 

Jongin’s legs finally gave out as he crumpled to the ground. Hugging his knees to his chest, Jongin leaned his back against the wall and buried his face in his arms folded above his knees. Sehun’s words only served to remind him what he initially thought of himself and Kyungsoo; he wasn’t good enough. 

 

_You’ve done enough._

 

Jongin wiped at his tears. Perhaps, _perhaps_ … it was really time for him to stay away.

 

 

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Baekhyun asked as he helped Jongin’s head get into the bear mascot. Though he remained silent, the latter gave his best friend a nod, bear head bobbing back and forth. “Okay, I need to go… cheering duties.” Baekhyun jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “You just stay here and wave to the crowd if you want, okay? Or you can just stay still, I’m sure no one minds…”

 

Jongin nodded again and sat down right at the end of the substitutes bench, plenty of spare equipment and warm up gear strewn on the grass before his feet. There was even a giant hideous-looking orange cooler beside him. It may look as if he was calmly relaxing before the start of the match, but by the way Jongin sat with his back straight, hands placed meekly on his lap, those who truly knew him know that he was most probably freaking out internally.

 

“Let me hear you scream for the Grizzlies!” A loud voice boomed through the PA system before thunderous applause and screams sounded as the school’s football team made their long-awaited entrance. Jongin’s heart started beating a tad faster for he knew what was coming, who was coming. “Leading the line is the one and only Do Kyungsoo. Give it up for your brilliant captain, ladies and gentlemen!” The announcer screamed.

 

Jongin barely felt the pinch in his ear because his heart was pounding too loudly. Also because his bear head kind of muffled the external sound. He knew he was supposed to stand and make his way over to the team, or at least run up and down the bleachers to pump up the crowd. But Jongin completely froze in his seat because Do Kyungsoo looked absolutely glorious in his tights and leggings.

 

The other still had his helmet in his hands, though his bed of hair was all kinds of messy beautiful. What Jongin loved most was the two streaks of black ink on each cheek; they emphasized the beauty of Kyungsoo’s eyes. The captain was giving a last minute pep talk to his team, a fierce charismatic mask for a face. _A born leader_ … Jongin smiled under his mascot head. 

 

_Kyungsoo was born to be brilliant._

 

Just then, Kyungsoo glanced over at where Jongin was seated. The younger, totally caught by surprise for he was staring so transfixed, jolted and swung his huge head around. _Oh my god, he didn’t see me right? He didn’t see me staring?_ His feet were almost tap dancing anxiously; he didn’t dare turn around to face the field again because it meant that Kyungsoo would fall into his line of sight. He looked like a jittery bear having a bad case of spasms.

 

Jongin missed the adoring smile Kyungsoo sent his way.

 

He said he wouldn’t look, but Jongin still found himself peeking half a minute later. And he almost wilted on the spot for Kyungsoo was still looking his way. Even with his helmet on, the other’s eyes were very much intense under the shadows casted by the light shining onto the protruding front of the headgear.

 

He didn’t know what came over him, but Jongin was pumping a bear fist in the air next, yelling a silent “fighting!” to the gaping senior. For a long few seconds, Kyungsoo stood frozen, only breaking eye contact when Sehun bumped him on the shoulder and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

 

Jongin whined and clutched onto his bear head, forcefully turning himself around to stare at the cheerleaders instead. _What the hell was that, Kim Jongin?_ He was still embarrassed as he tried locating his best friend. Apparently, Baekhyun was having the time of his life attempting somersaults and occasionally waving his golden pom pom wildly, almost like he intended to gorge out someone’s eye with said item.

 

Jongin shook his head despondently. His best friend was the complete opposite of him; where Baekhyun thrived under many people’s attention, Jongin sought for none. How they’d even stayed best friends for as long as they had was up to anyone’s guess. “PARK CHANYEOL BABY! KICK THOSE BITCHES’ BUTTS OR YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY TONIGHT!” The other screamed to plenty of sniggers from the people seated behind on the first row.

 

The players were all lined up on the field, and even from a distance, Jongin could make out the compact form of one Do Kyungsoo. It was easy; the other had such a dominating aura. 

 

“Go Grizzlies!” The announcer shouted, sparking a chainlike reaction of screams from the supporters. Even Jongin decided to be brave and wave a bear fist in the air again. It was such an improvement from his previous times as mascot.

 

His mood turned drastically bad when he heard it though, a soft whisper from behind him. Because the first row of bleachers was so near to the reserves’ bench, Jongin could hear the people seated behind him clearly, even under his bear head. 

 

“What a loser.” He tensed under his costume. “Why is he always bugging our Kyungsoo Oppa? Look at how pathetic he is, he doesn’t even deserve to cheer on our Kyungsoo Oppa.”

 

It was so obvious that they were speaking about him though. The two girls even went on to speculate about Kyungsoo getting hurt previously because of Jongin’s inadequacies, they probably thought that he couldn’t hear their insults under his costume.

 

Jongin tried to ignore them, but the more he attempted to concentrate on the game, concentrate on Kyungsoo, who was totally bossing the game (as usual), the louder the words traveling to his ear became. The noise was starting to get to him, surrounding him, overwhelming him. Probably only Baekhyun noticed that he was hunching, curling into himself more and more, but even the cheerleader could do nothing for he was busy with his own responsibilities

 

“Hey dude, can you pass me a bottle of iced water?” One of the running backs, Jongin recalled that his name was Jongdae, who had just been pulled out to rest, gestured at Jongin for him to get him a drink from the cooler as he was too lazy (and tired) to move. Apparently, the opposing team was no walkover today. Jongin frowned but nodded timidly all the same, reaching out to the cooler on his right.

 

He thought it would be an easy feat for it didn’t require much effort from him; he couldn’t possibly get judged and scrutinized for his ability to get a drink from the cooler right? _Wrong._ Apparently, his bear hands were too big to get a good grip on the latch of the cooler, resulting in him fumbling with the box. “Dude… drink please…” Jongdae said that somewhat sarcastically, “I’m dying over here, can’t I even get a drink?”

 

Jongin started panicking just a little, hands clumsily rattling the cooler. _Just one drink, can’t you be good and open up for me?_ Even he was getting impatient, much less the waiting footballer. “Dude!” Jongdae half-yelled when Jongin accidentally toppled the whole cooler onto the ground, a loud thud and the ensuing crashes of bottles and cans hitting the floor captured the attention of those sitting around them.

 

“I-I-I… s-sorry!” Jongin stuttered and squatted down, hands desperately sweeping about in an attempt to gather the spilled contents of the cooler. The murmurs were growing louder around him as more and more people glanced over at the commotion. “Hey, calm down…” Jongdae said in a soft voice, finally standing up beside Jongin; perhaps sensing that the other was on the verge of breaking down.

 

But Jongin was really too far gone to hear the footballer’s attempts to get him to ditch the spilled drinks and sit back down.

 

“What a total loser… he just can’t do anything right.” The harsh words were back and they were eating away at Jongin. “Boo!” Someone voiced out as most of those around them joined in. On the field, the match was still underway with the Grizzlies still holding on to a narrow lead. It was all too much for Jongin; the rings of boo and insults flung at his face. Though hidden in the bear suit, he wasn’t at all shielded.

 

_Stop, please._ Jongin staggered to his feet, brushing off Jongdae’s arm as the latter tried to hold onto him. He was sweating buckets under the suit, already feeling faint from being trapped, not just in the mascot, but overwhelmed by the unforgiving presence of those booing him. 

 

“Jongin!” Baekhyun’s yell carried over to his ears.

 

But by the time he tried to glance at his best friend’s direction to try and seek out shelter in the form of the other’s comfort, Jongin found himself succumbing to his pain. The last he remembered before fainting was Baekhyun’s scream, Jongdae’s worried voice by his ear, and his own earnest wish that Kyungsoo was concentrating on the game and wasn’t looking over.

 

Jongin didn’t want the other to see him in this light.

 

Jongin didn’t want Kyungsoo to think of him as pathetic too.


	2. Chapter 2

Jongin wakes up to a very familiar white ceiling and the faint smell of chemicals. It wasn’t difficult to wrap his mind around the thought that he was back in the infirmary again, for the second time in the span of a week. _What an absolute loser…,/i > He could only blink sadly before shutting his eyes again. _

_“Nini? Are you awake?” Baekhyun’s worried voice carried over to his ear and Jongin could only make an effort to open his eyes and stare at his best friend silently._

_And not for the second time in the span of a week, Jongin had given Baekhyun reason to cry for him again. “I-I’m s-sorry Baek…” He whispered, spotting the tear tracks on his friend’s face, just drying up now. There were two chairs beside his bed, the nearest one to him void of any being though there was a very telling red varsity jacket on it. Baekhyun was seated on the chair beside it, hand only coming up to grab onto Jongin’s now. At the very corner of the room was his mascot suit, folded up nicely, bear head resting on the pile of fur._

_“What for, you silly boy?” The other wiped at his eyes and attempted to smile. Jongin had to give him credit for trying to appear positive. _For everything…_ He wanted to say, but Jongin merely shook his head lightly. “W-Where’s C-Chanyeol?” He eyed the empty chair with the varsity jacket. There was a flash of momentary confusion on Baekhyun’s face before he blinked in understanding._

_“Oh! Chanyeol… he couldn’t come. His parents wanted him back for a family gathering so he left right after the game ended.” Baekhyun sighed._

_Jongin cocked his head to the left and glanced at the empty seat. “T-Then who…” His voice drifted off because there was one name that popped into his mind suddenly, one that he preferred not to be true. _It can’t be…__

_Jongin didn’t even need to say it out loud for Baekhyun to confirm his thoughts. “He was pretty distraught…” The other cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Went off for a walk just minutes before you woke up.” Baekhyun smiled. Jongin could only stare down at his fiddling hands._

_“H-How long w-was I out?” He said with the softest voice._

_“You fainted at the start of the last quarter.” Baekhyun grimaced, recalling how his friend had fallen like a deck of cards in the wind. Jongdae had tried to catch him, but Jongin fell too fast; the impact wasn’t easy on the eye, Baekhyun was so worried, as he was sprinting towards his friend, that he’d gotten a concussion (or worse) from the way Jongin’s head had slammed against the floor._

_Jongin shut his eyes, hands clenching into fists by his sides. He could only imagine the commotion he had created when he had collapsed, the unwanted attention, the embarrassment, and the final nail in the ‘Kim Jongin is a 110% good for nothing loser’ coffin._

_“Hey, don’t blame yourself Jongin… I heard from Jongdae that it was those girls sitting around you.” Baekhyun squeezed his hand gently. “They are the ones at fault. You did nothing wrong, Nini. Absolutely nothing.” He tried to reassure him. “Those trashy bitches were talking rubbish, don’t pay their words any attention.”_

_Too bad, Jongin already did. Every word spoken against him, every curse, every insult from the accident years ago, Jongin remembered; he took them all to heart._

_“H-How was the g-game?” He blinked slowly, glancing over at his best friend._

_At the mention of the game, Baekhyun’s eyes lit up. “We won!” He cheered. “It was really close at the end, but we pulled through.” A small smile grew on Jongin’s face too because Baekhyun’s smile was infectious. “T-Tell me a-about it?” He urged._

_“You should have seen Yeollie in action.” Jongin rolled his eyes to the heavens because of course Baekhyun would brag about his boyfriend first. “He was so tough and manly… his biceps.” The other looked on the verge of drooling and Jongin had to snigger before the other broke out of his trance. “Chanyeol blocked off plenty of the opposition in the last quarter, we wouldn’t have won without him playing a crucial part in the final passage of play that led to the touchdown.”_

_Jongin smiled, happy for Baekhyun and delighted for Chanyeol’s achievements. “The last few minutes were so tense, I tell you…” His best friend rambled on excitedly. “I thought I was going to pee in my pants!” Baekhyun gave him a fleeting glance. “This was just before your incident if you were wondering.” He grimaced before chewing on his bottom lip. Jongin could only wait patiently for the other to say what it was that he wanted to say._

_“When you kind of… uhm…” Baekhyun hesitated. “Fainted?” Jongin shrugged, “I fainted.” He said it almost dismissively. It sounded even more embarrassing when he said it himself. “Yeah…” Baekhyun attempted a half smile. “When the cooler fell and you were kind of fumbling with it…” Jongin growled when Baekhyun paused. _Just spit it out already_ , he wanted to yell. But of course he didn’t, he couldn’t. It wasn’t in him to speak out that easily._

_“We were only a point up and the clock was ticking down… we had to stretch the lead and the football was with Kyungsoo.” _Oh boy_. Jongin thinks he knows what’s coming. _

_“D-Did he…” _Did he see me?_ Baekhyun nodded hesitantly and Jongin wailed internally. _

_“He saw you went down, probably because he heard me scream your name.” Jongin’s heart fell. “I’m sorry.” Baekhyun added half a second later._

_“W-What happened-d after?” Jongin whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer._

_“He got distracted of course… Sehun was already sprinting down the length of the field and yelling for him to pass the ball.” Baekhyun recalled, “Thank god Chanyeol blocked off the huge imposing guy that was about to crush your quarterback.” Jongin bit down on his bottom lip hard._

_“Stop worrying yourself, Nini.” Baekhyun chided. “Kyungsoo’s the captain, he wasn’t going to let his team down, and he wasn’t going to let the school down. He made it, a perfect throw to Sehun for the touchdown before he was ran over by the other team’s linebackers.” Jongin winced nonetheless. “Then when you were carried off, he looked like he wanted to go after you… that was kind of sweet, wasn’t it.” Jongin blushed when Baekhyun gave him an exaggerated wink._

__What does that mean though?_ Jongin couldn’t help but wonder. _Does it mean what I think it means? But it can’t be…_ The silent questions were obvious on his face. Baekhyun sighed and squeezed his hand comfortingly. _

_“Don’t, for a second, doubt yourself anymore, Jongin. Be more self-confident. You don’t know how special you are…”_

_Just when he was about to openly deny it, the door to the room slid open and both boys’ heads swiveled towards it. Jongin certainly wasn’t prepared for the entrance of Kyungsoo. The said guy was dressed casually in a form-fitting tee and tracksuit pants, a white bandage on the bridge of his nose. Jongin shifted his hand away when he spotted Kyungsoo staring at his hand in Baekhyun’s. Not staring actually, the other was kind of glaring at their joined hands. Baekhyun prides himself in not peeing in his pants._

_“Jongin…” The jock breathed out and made his way forward, settling into the seat closest to him. “Jongin…” Kyungsoo repeated, hands fiddling awkwardly; he was torn between reaching out to hold the other’s hand and staying still. Gradually, the silence in the room, brought about by the two boys’ persistence not to speak, drove Baekhyun crazy._

_“I’m going to leave you guys now, you two clearly need to talk.” He rolled his eyes and stepped closer to the exit, intentionally ignoring the desperate glances coming from Jongin._

_“B-Baek…” Jongin let out a half-whine before pouting when his best friend left without even a look back. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but chuckle because the other was too cute!_

_“It’s okay, Jongin. I don’t bite.” Jongin looked down shyly when Kyungsoo bravely held his hand, he didn’t even need to look in the mirror; he knew his cheeks were red. The warmth offered by the other’s touch was one Jongin craved._

_He never wanted to let go._

_“I’m s-sorry!” Jongin blurted, not for the first time today._

_Kyungsoo looked taken aback. “What for?” He asked, a hint of amusement on his lips because Jongin’s bottom lip was trembling cutely. The other still refused to meet his eye, though his fingers were curled securely around Kyungsoo’s very own. And that made the latter extremely happy and proud._

_“Y-You could h-have lost t-the g-game because of me…” Jongin pouted._

_“No chance.” Kyungsoo shook his head confidently._

_“B-But Baekhyun s-said you almost l-lost the b-ball because you w-were distracted w-when I fell?” Jongin blinked in confusion, missing out on the furious blush spreading on the other’s face. _What he said was true_ , Kyungsoo knew that but he didn’t dare admit it out loud. He did almost lose them the game because he had been busy worrying over unconscious Jongin. _

_“ANYWAYS… Since we won, let’s just forget about it all, okay?” Kyungsoo smiled._

_Jongin nodded subconsciously, though a frown soon made its way onto his face upon spotting the Band-Aid lying across Kyungsoo’s knuckles. “You’re hurt.” He whispered, holding on tightly when the other tried to remove his hand from his grasp. Jongin stared up at Kyungsoo’s nose too._

_“Broke it when their linebacker rammed into me.” He winced when Jongin tapped his index finger on the bandage lightly. “The helmet was useful under that buffoon’s weight.” Kyungsoo’s heart swelled at the look of concern on his face._

_“W-What about y-your hand?” Jongin frowned. It was then that Kyungsoo’s eyes hardened. “K-Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked with a soft voice after a period of the other man’s silence. “I had a fight with Sehun.” He relented, admitting it with a sigh. _What?_ Jongin’s eyes bulged. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Kyungsoo frowned while shaking his head. _But why?__

_“W-Was it b-because of me?” Jongin had to ask. “Don’t-t lie to m-me…” He rushed out when Kyungsoo gave him a look of uncertainty._

_“I-I…” The footballer only continued when Jongin gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. “I heard from Sehun that he spoke to you alone?” Kyungsoo scowled. “He shouldn’t have said what he did. I was so angry when he told me…”_

_Jongin was positively surprised when Kyungsoo started tearing. “I’m sorry. On behalf of Sehun, I’m sorry that you had to hear such nonsense, because that’s what they are… irrelevant and untrue. But knowing you, you must have taken it to heart. I can only imagine how hurt you must have felt. I’m so sorry.” By then, his tears had begun streaming down his cheeks. It pained Jongin that Kyungsoo was crying and he wanted nothing more than to bring the other into his arms._

_So that’s what he did. Jongin wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo and hugged him close to his chest. “Don’t, for a second, think that that’s what defines you, because it doesn’t. There’s nothing wrong with the way you speak, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look…” Kyungsoo whispered into his ear. “Hell, Kim Jongin… every so called flaw you think you have, that others think you possess… why am I the only one to think that they make you all the more perfect?”_

_There’s something in the way Kyungsoo had said it, somehow, Jongin had felt his sincerity and it was the first time in a really long time that he actually believed he wasn’t all that much of a rotten apple after all._

_“I’ve been such a coward for not saying this months back…” Jongin could only blink dazedly when Kyungsoo cupped his cheeks and stared deep into his soul. “I like you, Kim Jongin.” The said boy gasped, bringing out a smile on Kyungsoo’s face. “I like you a lot, and it pains me to only confess now when I should have done so the second I saw you in that bear costume during the first game of the season.” He chuckled, giving said costume a half glance over._

_“Jongin?” Kyungsoo frowned and shook his face lightly when the other rendered no form of a response. “Is that not okay… the fact that I like you?” The older’s face fell and his hands dropped from Jongin’s face. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. You might not even be gay.” Kyungsoo looked a second away from bailing. _Wait… what? No, no! It’s okay for you to like me. Of course it’s fine. More than fine, great even!__

_“I’M GAY!” Jongin blurted out in a loud voice, face flushing red the second he’d screamed it out loud. “I-I’m very g-gay…” He nodded to emphasize. Kyungsoo’s grin grew again and it made Jongin’s heart beat that much faster. “And I-I like y-you too…” Jongin looked up shyly. “A lot.” He added in a whisper._

_But Kyungsoo heard it anyways._

_Jongin looked so endearingly shy, it just about drove Kyungsoo crazy from the overwhelming want to snuggle him to his chest. “I’m glad.” The other buried his face in Jongin’s chest, ear fitted right above where the latter’s heart is located. “And Jongin?” Kyungsoo only continued speaking after the said boy hummed, “Unlike what Sehun says… just know that you’re very, very special to me.”_

__You’re no one special…_ Sehun’s words rang in Jongin’s mind. But this time, the latter smiled and chose not to take it to heart because Kyungsoo’s words had won him over. _

_“You are very special to me, Kim Jongin.” The jock had on a similar smile as Jongin. “Believe me.”_

_The only response Kyungsoo got was Jongin’s heartbeat beating faster, way over what must be considered the norm._

_“What the fuck did I miss?” Chanyeol’s face was a sea of confusion as he approached their table in the canteen the following Monday._

_“Our baby has finally grown up!” Baekhyun squealed and stood up to pull his boyfriend down to sit beside him. From across the table, Jongin could only wave shyly at Chanyeol before resuming his staring at his plate of spaghetti. He didn’t dare move for fear of being labeled a disturbance._

_Jongin also refused to look down because there was a head pillowed on his thighs._

_Practically the whole cafeteria was gawking at their table; he could practically feel the curious stares and evil glares sent his way. Jongin nibbled timidly on a piece of lettuce, looking very much like a shy bear tasting bark for the first time._

_“Are you together?!” Chanyeol finally pieced the puzzles together and jabbed an excited finger in Jongin’s direction, quieting down only when Baekhyun and Jongin shushed him. Well, Jongin almost bit off his finger aside from shushing him. He quickly glanced down and sighed in relief, a small smile creeping on his face. _Thank god, he’s still asleep.__

_Kyungsoo, whose head was settled on Jongin’s plush thighs, was stretched out on the bench they were sitting on; face a beautiful canvas of calm as he slept on. Jongin couldn’t help but feel his heart swell when he spotted the slight upwards curl of the other’s lips._

_They had talked through the night after both boys confessed their feelings for the other after the game. It was still surreal to Jongin, almost too good a dream to be true. But it was reality. Kyungsoo leaving a shy kiss on his forehead the second he woke up to those big, beautiful eyes only acted as a confirmation, one that calmed Jongin’s doubts. But one that also doubled his own self-confidence because _Kyungsoo had chose him_ of all people._

_Because the doctors suspected that Jongin had a concussion due to him jarring his head when he fainted, he was not allowed to leave, the staff insisting he stay for a couple more nights for observation. Friday, the two had spent the night in the infirmary after Kyungsoo shot down his half-hearted appeals to return to the comfort of his own bed at home. “Nonsense. I’ll be right here by your side.” Jongin could squeal even as he recalled the look of utter seriousness when Kyungsoo had said those words._

_As cheesy or corny as it may sound, it still made Jongin’s heart flutter. He knew he had fallen asleep halfway through, but he didn’t know at which hour. Jongin was also oblivious to the fact that Kyungsoo had stayed up all night, just watching him sleep peacefully. Over the weekend, the other only stepped away for a couple hours (just to run home and freshen up) before he returned. Kyungsoo always came back after he left._

_And somehow, that meant the world to Jongin._

_Even when he was allowed to leave and was resting at home on Sunday, half dreading going to school the next day, the two had spoken over the phone into the early hours of the morning. Somehow, Jongin stuttered less when he was conversing with Kyungsoo over the phone. He wasn’t sure if it was because there was no face-to-face interaction, hence why he felt less overwhelmed. Or if it meant that he was getting extremely comfortable with Kyungsoo. Fast._

_He had a hard time waking up that morning. A quick glance at his call history had revealed that they had spoken until pass three in the morning. That explains why the other was constantly yawning and looking tired over the course of the morning lessons. Jongin certainly wasn’t expecting Kyungsoo to approach the table he and Baekhyun were sitting at during lunch break, only to dump his phone and wallet on the surface before making himself comfortable on the bench and on Jongin’s thighs. He fell asleep even before Baekhyun let out this astonished half-shriek._

_Needless to say, Jongin had flushed to his roots and tried avoiding his best friend’s inquisitive chants by ducking his head shyly. Which was also the worst move ever because it also meant that he was looking right down at Kyungsoo’s beautiful face in his lap instead. Despite the Band-Aid over his nose, it was still beautiful. Jongin’s mouth hung slightly as he studied the face of the other. _How lucky am I to have you with me?_ He drew back his finger from where it had been tracing Kyungsoo’s bottom lip lightly when Baekhyun climbed onto the table and smacked the side of his head playfully because his best friend was getting impatient at not getting a response from him._

_The other practically forced Jongin to spill everything; what is privacy and secrets when Byun Baekhyun is involved? “I’m so happy for you, Jongin.” He had said, but not before boasting proudly about how he had knew that Kyungsoo and Sehun were never an item to begin with. “I can’t believe you are the boyfriend of Do Kyungsoo!” The other giggled into his palms without noticing how Jongin had froze slightly._

__Boyfriends._ Was that the label to truly define them? Jongin frowned and stared at his plate of food, stubbornly not looking down even though his heart willed him to. From what he can remember, Kyungsoo had never mentioned that word to him over the past few days they had spent together. Of course, they had confirmed that they liked each other. _But does that mean we are boyfriends now?_ Jongin wasn’t so sure. He needed more assurance than that._

_“Hey, is that Oh Sehun walking over now?” Baekhyun’s hushed whisper made him snap his head up and true enough the lean boy was stalking over in their direction, a look of utter determination on his face. Jongin was already started to panic inside though he willed his face to appear calm. His hand holding onto one of Kyungsoo’s shoulder tightened considerably, somewhat possessively._

_“Sehun…” Chanyeol issued a soft warning when the other was only a foot away from their table, almost as if he and Baekhyun had guessed that the other was here to pick a fight with Jongin because of Kyungsoo. There was a dark bruise on the corner of Sehun’s lips, right by his left cheek. Jongin glanced down at Kyungsoo’s still bandaged knuckles before glancing up. He briefly wondered if that’s where Kyungsoo had punched him._

_“I’m not here to start a commotion.” Sehun snapped before his face softened, “I’m not making that mistake again.” Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged confused glances, unsure as to what mistake the other was referring to and why he had a bruise on his otherwise perfectly-sculpted face; they hadn’t recalled seeing him get smashed by the opposition during the game on Friday. Jongin never broke eye contact with Sehun, even though his heart was pounding through the roof._

_“Then what are you here for?” Baekhyun said bluntly before proceeding to glare at the other because he had heard about what Sehun had said to Jongin privately and he did not like the other. Not one bit._

_It was rare and somewhat unusual to see Sehun, who was always confident and calm under pressure, fidgeting and rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly. It was then that Jongin noticed the increasingly loud murmurs around them. By now, everyone was kind of crowding around them, almost as if they were expecting a good show._

_“I came here to apologize.” Sehun spilled after awhile, holding Jongin’s stare. The nearest bystanders gasped, not used to seeing a jock apologize, especially someone so high up the social ladder like Sehun. Eyes on Kyungsoo, Sehun repeated his apology. It was obvious he was apologizing because he didn’t want Kyungsoo to totally turn his back on him._

_“I was a jerk. I shouldn’t have said what I said and I’m sorry.” Jongin could only blink dazedly; he certainly wasn’t expecting that. “I admit that was bullying on my part and I ask for you to forgive me. It won’t happen again.” Sehun inclined his head._

_“DAMN RIGHT IT WON’T OR I WILL PERSONALLY GRILL YOUR ASS!” Baekhyun stood up to yell, only lowering himself down meekly when people turned their glares on him._

_Jongin didn’t realize that his knees were fidgeting out of nervousness again, from all the eyes and attention on him. He also didn’t realize that the boy lying on him was stirring from his sleep._

_“You don’t need to apologize to the loser, Sehun oppa!” Some unidentified girl yelled, and plenty others were soon joining in with similar words. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had stood up by now, both standing in front of where Jongin sat, acting as shields, trying to protect their friend from the insults thrown at him. But failing ultimately._

_**Because sometimes, words can do more damage than physical injuries.** _

_“He’s manipulative, oppa. Kyungsoo oppa w--”_

_The girl fell silent when a hand slammed against the table loudly, startling half of the people that had gathered._

_“I will suggest you shut that mouth of yours now.” Kyungsoo had said it in what people would assume to be a calm voice, but there was no doubting the hidden threat underneath his tone._

_“But oppa, you should move away from that scum--” Kyungsoo was almost growling as he too stood up. This time, Jongin stood with him, clinging onto his right arm fearfully, body half hidden behind the other._

_“I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU CALLING MY BOYFRIEND A SCUM!” Kyungsoo bellowed, surprising the entire school with the sheer volume of his voice for they have never seen the other blown up like that. The ring of gasps was equally loud. _Boyfriend._ Somehow, Jongin’s mind had registered Kyungsoo saying that word and it felt good. Jongin took a step closer to Kyungsoo’s back. It felt extremely good. A small smile played on Jongin’s face._

_It was also just the assurance he needed._

_Sehun looked like he’d just had all the air punched out of him while Baekhyun and Chanyeol were practically bouncing on their feet in delight. The couple’s hands were linked as they giggled excitedly; really, they look ridiculous. Nothing could quite compare to the looks on the other students’ faces though. Shock was one, disbelief the other. But disgust was the most prominent._

_“You can’t be serious, oppa.” A trio of girls stepped forward. Jongin recognized them; they were the materialistic bunch of young heiresses, the trio that idolized the football team more than any other girls in the school. “You’ve always rejected Minhyo and for who…” The girl standing behind the one upfront, who must be Minhyo, gestured roughly at Jongin, “that freak? Unbelievable.” She rolled her eyes._

_Jongin had to grab onto Kyungsoo’s shirt to stop him from stomping over; he was that angry. “D-Don’t Kyungsoo…” He whispered._

_“I said not to call him that.” Kyungsoo seethed and took a threatening step forward. “You’re lucky I don’t hit girls.” Jongin saw how the other students were eyeing the situation. It was obvious to him that they were still undecided on whose side to take. Kyungsoo, their captain, one of the most popular, if not the most popular guy in school, had always been someone they looked up to. But now that he was associated with the known ‘freak’ of the school, they were unsure whether he still deserved for them to look up to him._

_“Oppa-” Minhyo, who had only just opened her mouth, was cut off when Sehun stepped between Kyungsoo and the girls._

_“Drop it, Minhyo.”_

_Kyungsoo eyed his best friend with wary; it wasn’t long since they had their fight. “It isn’t right to call him such names.” Sehun folded his arms. There was a small proud smile on Kyungsoo’s face after hearing his best friend speak. He knew the other would always see reason in the end._

_Now that another one of the key figures in school had spoken, it was becoming clear that the majority of bystanders were swayed towards their side. For the first time in a really long time, Jongin felt accepted again. It was some ten years since the day he was forsaken for his stutters; falling from being one of the most likeable guy in school – the students used to call him “Prince” because he was one charming lad, even at his young age – to an individual that no one liked anymore; one that got used to constant sneers and used to being laughed at – a clown._

_Jongin startled when someone grabbed his hand. The warmth was a familiar one, and when he looked up and into the kind eyes of Kyungsoo, Jongin smiled and squeezed the other’s hand gratefully. It was a touch he would grow to be fond of, a touch he would never want to lose. “Let’s go, Jongin.” Kyungsoo said softly, and with a gentle tug, the other was leading him pass everyone, the crowd parting to let them through, before they stepped out of the cafeteria._

_“W-Where are w-we going, K-Kyung…Soo?” Jongin couldn’t help but ask out of curiosity after several long minutes of him following after Kyungsoo like a besotted, loyal puppy. The other only gave him a fleeting glance back, beautiful smile on his face as he pulled Jongin along with more purpose in every stride he took. Jongin blushed and trained his eyes on his surroundings instead._

_“A happy place!” Kyungsoo promised, “Come on. You’ll love it there.”_

_It was an abandoned shed by the far side of the school, one near the back of the stadium which students proclaimed to be haunted, that Kyungsoo brought him to. The latter could feel Jongin’s hesitation and he all but laughed and wrapped an arm around Jongin’s waist instead. It was comforting; like a pillar holding him up – Kyungsoo supporting him, giving him strength. “It’s beautiful near the back of it, I promise.” The jock only let go of him when they came round the back of the shed._

_“K-Kyungsoo?” Jongin took a step after the other when he slipped away and into the shed._

_“Sit by the log to the left, Jongin… I’ll be right out.” He heard Kyungsoo yell from within. Jongin nodded habitually, even if he knew the other couldn’t possibly see him, and moved to sit exactly where Kyungsoo told him to sit. Oh… He couldn’t help but smile because now he was facing a beautiful small creek. Who knew that hidden behind the old shed was a view worth every admiration. _Guess first appearances are not always everything.__

_A soft whimper drew his attention back and Jongin whirled around, just in time to catch Kyungsoo walking out of the shed with a small puppy in his arms. There was no stopping the wide smile on his face when the other handed the pup over to him._

_“Meet my little one, Jonginnie.” Kyungsoo smiled fondly when the pup sneakily landed a lick on Jongin’s nose, drawing out the most adorable shriek from the startled boy. “What’s h-her… his n-name?”_

_“His.” Kyungsoo confirmed, but he was more hesitant to answer the other half of Jongin’s question._

_“D-Does he n-not have a n-name?” He asked with a frown marring his face, not knowing why there was a significant blush on Kyungsoo’s face._

_“His name is Nini.” The other rushed out before he looked away desperately._

__Oh. Oh_ … Now he knew why Kyungsoo hesitated. Jongin felt his heart swell._

_“You n-named him after m-me?”_

_Kyungsoo let out an embarrassing half-groan before spinning around to grin sheepishly at him. “You don’t mind me calling him that right? Its just… look at him!” Kyungsoo plucked the puppy out of his hands and cradled it to his own cheek, staring at Jongin earnestly. “He’s just so small and tiny, he’s too cute. I just want to protect him all the time, and I heard your Baekhyun calling you by that name a couple of times. He just really reminded me of you, and I just want to shield you from all the nonsensical hate all the time and I really, really like you, that’s why I decided to name him Nini. Please don’t be mad.” It was such a mouthful that Kyungsoo exhaled deeply at the end of it. Jongin was still trying to wrap his mind around the words._

_“I’m n-not mad.” He said simply, turning to face the creek once more. “W-Why do you k-keep Nini…” Jongin paused slightly; it was weird saying that name, it almost felt like he was addressing himself. “Why d-do you keep h-him in the s-shed?” He asked._

_“He’s a stray actually.” Kyungsoo sighed, cuddling the pup that much closer. “Found him when I was retrieving our footballs after practice, those that always seem to get lost when there’s a wayward pass.” Nini whined just then and Jongin didn’t even hesitate before reaching over to scratch at the back of the pup’s head._

_“I knew my parents wouldn’t allow pets in the house, so I resorted to sneaking him in.” Kyungsoo chuckled. “Couldn’t leave him in my room just in case my mum walked in on him, that’s why I keep him here during school hours.” He turned to smile at Jongin before busying himself with trying to contain the puppy that was struggling to break out of his hold. It seemed like Nini had taken an interest in Jongin’s sneakers._

_From the corner of his eyes, Jongin could see Kyungsoo frowning and playing with one of Nini’s floppy ear in a bid to distract the excited pup from chewing at his shoe. “N-Now I know w-why you call t-this a happy p-place.” Jongin murmured, attention still focused on the boy beside him despite his body facing the front._

_“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo laughed, referring to the view – a hidden gem._

_“Yes, beautiful.” Jongin agreed. _Beautiful.__

_He sure wasn’t referring to the scenery._

_Don’t ask him how and don’t ask him why, but Jongin found himself back in the bear mascot suit a fortnight later. The why – because no one wanted to be stuck in a costume for hours, it could get really hot in there. The how – Baekhyun had asked him ‘nicely’. Okay, the man had begged because no one else wanted to do it and he was desperate. Jongin, being the nice guy he was, could only agree and help out his best friend yet again. It was also because he really wanted to be there to support his boyfriend, that’s why he had given the other the go-ahead._

_This time though, Jongin wasn’t hiding in a nearby bush or sitting petrified on the bench, unmoving for the entire duration of the game. Bear Jongin was actually walking up and down the edge of the field. It was nothing short of a miracle really. For the past two weeks, he had really opened up to Kyungsoo. It was so easy to speak to the other, so comfortable. And day-by-day his speech was improving (not that he needed to change anyway, like Kyungsoo always tells him). With Jongin feeling not so self-conscious about the way he spoke anymore because of his boyfriend’s constant reassurances and kind words, he was gradually opening up to others._

_It was work-in-progress really. The attention from large groups of people still scared him from time to time, but Jongin found himself feeling less nervous than before when placed in a large social setting now. And nothing could quite spell the biggest event of the school year than Football finals. They made it, or rather, the Grizzlies had made it pass the playoffs and into the finals. Did anyone really doubt the team’s abilities to though?_

_“This is insane!” Baekhyun pranced up to Jongin in his cheerleader outfit and gestured back at the large crowd that had gathered. Half an hour to go before the match started and the cheers and school chants were already in full flow; each set of supporters loyally screaming their lungs out for their respective teams. It wasn’t even their school’s stadium; the finals called for a venue befitting of its importance and grandeur, so they had to travel all the way into the next city where a huge fifty-five thousand capacity stadium waited. Honestly, Baekhyun was surprised that Jongin hadn’t fainted or backed out in any way._

_But he was more proud than anything._

_Jongin clutched onto his mascot head and spun around carefully, eyeing the stands. It would have seemed terrifying, but now he was numb to it. Also because his mind was more preoccupied with something else, or rather, someone else. Just thinking about the injuries Kyungsoo had suffered the previous match made him worry about how his boyfriend would look after today’s game. Jongin also happened to chance upon the opponent team arriving earlier, their massive, bulky sizes did nothing to reassure him._

_He wrapped his arms around himself and shifted his weight back and forth on his right then left foot anxiously. Apparently, his best friend misunderstood his nervousness. “Just relax, Jongin. Don’t mind the crowd, you will be just fine!” Baekhyun rubbed the small of his back in a comforting gesture before tilting his head in the direction of his waiting teammates. “Gotta go teach the fans cheers. I came up with a chant for Yeollie, you are not going to believe it when you hear it!” Jongin could already predict the overuse of words such as biceps or sweat or that piece of hot ass. Baekhyun waved excitedly before running off. “I didn’t forget about your Kyungsoo too!” He screamed back._

_Jongin shuddered and planted his butt on the bench; his knees were already shaking with anxiety. The screams and cheers intensified when both teams came out from the locker room for their final warm up. Jongin’s eyes were on jersey number 12 at once. Even now, Kyungsoo’s presence on the pitch was impressive; Sehun and Chanyeol, jersey number ninety-four and sixty-one respectively, were standing at his sides, both imposing figures looming above Kyungsoo, but everyone knew it was the shorter guy in the middle that called the shots._

_As if he knew that Jongin was watching him, the captain glanced right back at the boy in the bear mascot. Jongin saw Kyungsoo giving further instructions before he turned around and started jogging towards him. _Oh shit._ Jongin held onto his bear head and slumped down, half a mind set on melding into the wooden bench. _Why is he coming over?_ The cheers from the fans were also gradually growing louder as their star quarterback approached. _

_“Oppa, I love you!” A fangirl screamed and Jongin couldn’t help but roll his eyes pettily. _Hmph… too bad you can’t have him cause he’s mine_ (cue evil laughter). Jongin snapped himself out of it soon enough. _Since when did I become possessive_ , he pondered, a small frown emerging._

_“Hey.” Kyungsoo said softly, almost shyly, as he stood in front of Jongin. “You nervous?” The captain asked before chuckling awkwardly._

__Yeah, but not in the way you think_ … “A-Are you?” Jongin replied instead, a gentle teasing tilt in his voice. Kyungsoo actually let out a dramatic exhale of breath before crouching down to Jongin’s eye level. They were so much closer like that. _

_“I am.” Kyungsoo admitted._

_This time, it was Jongin that reached out to hold the other’s hand. Kyungsoo’s hand couldn’t even be seen under the size of his mascot paw far. Both boys let out amused laughs. “D-Don’t worry.” Jongin nodded encouragingly, or at least, he was doing his best to not appear scared. “You g-guys will kick b-butt. I believe in y-you.” The most brilliant smile spread across Kyungsoo’s cheeks and once again, Jongin was blinded._

_The whistle from the referee, signaling the end of warm up and prep to start the match, broke them out of their little bubble of enjoyable silence. “Thank you, Jongin.” Kyungsoo smiled and knocked his helmet against Jongin’s bear head gently. The latter could only smile dazedly at the somewhat affectionate gesture. “Do well, my favorite bear.” He smiled, and even before Jongin could blush at the other’s parting words, Kyungsoo was already jogging back to his team._

_“Be careful.” Jongin called out after the boy. The only indication that the quarterback had heard him was the nod and small wave Kyungsoo sent him._

_His heart was pounding. As was his ears, no thanks to the crazy banshee screams from the girls seated behind him. It was always going to be a tense game, it being the showdown between two of the best teams in the division. Jongin was already starting to feel a little dizzy in his costume, but not because he felt suffocated by the event. The Grizzlies were behind by two points and it was not a position they find themselves in often. Their team was used to winning, and from the frustrated look on Kyungsoo’s face, their captain was also used to winning._

__Come on! You can do it, Kyungsoo._ Jongin popped up off the bench and started pacing by the field. The coach had called for an emergency time out, especially with the time ticking down; they had to get the last few passages of play right in order to turn things around. He could only watch as Kyungsoo and then Sehun barked out orders in the group huddle. The atmosphere was absolutely electric with the leading team’s set of fans crowing premature victorious cheers while Baekhyun and the other cheerleaders upped their own game to pump up their side of the stadium. _

_“Come on. Y-You can do it, b-baby!” The volume of his schoolmates’ cheers drowned out Jongin’s yell, but his words were still ringing in his mind. _Baby? Seriously, Kim Jongin? What has gotten into you?_ He smacked himself on the cheek and shook his head, forcing the bear head to bob along. _How embarrassing… Thank god no one heard me._ He quickly sat down._

_The game restarted soon after. But as determined as Kyungsoo and his team were to take the lead once again, their opponents also refused to back down, now working doubly hard to contain the Grizzlies’ offensive line. “Play.” The referee blew his whistle and everyone watched with bated breath as Chanyeol prepared to snap the ball back to Kyungsoo’s waiting hands. The screaming started again when play resumed. Sehun and Jongdae were flying down the flanks to the end zone as Kyungsoo’s head snapped left and right to pick out the right pass. But the two were shadowed closely by the other team’s safeties, it would be a suicide to risk a pass and force a turnover with so little time left._

_Jongin stood up anxiously when Kyungsoo darted pass a gap between Chanyeol and an opponent linebacker; the quarterback had decided to run the play quite literally. _Oh my god!_ Jongin nibbled on his bottom lip as he watched the small figure narrowly avoid an onrushing defensive player. Kyungsoo had nowhere to go though, the road before him was cut out and so he managed to pass the ball to one of his teammates running alongside him before accepting the crunching tackle. Jongin whimpered when his boyfriend hit the ground._

__Something’s wrong._ Jongin murmured to himself as he studied Kyungsoo’s face. There was a slight grimace on it, though the other tried to look as if there was nothing wrong with him when he stood back up. He saw Chanyeol approach the quarterback and gesture at his arm, the center looked concerned but Kyungsoo kept brushing him off, urging the referee to continue with play. There was barely time left and the captain was desperate to play on, desperate to score and win._

_Jongin watched as Jongdae and Sehun jogged up to Kyungsoo, the trio exchanging hushed whispers before falling into position once more. Everyone expected either Sehun or Jongdae to be the one to run forward, but instead, their opponents were left confused when the latter dropped back deep, feinting as if he was going to collect the pass from the quarterback instead. That quickly pulled the defensive line out of position and Kyungsoo took full advantage of it as he and Sehun sprinted down to the end zone, Chanyeol bodily blocking the two that tried to go after his captain._

_He should be cheering along with the crowd when Kyungsoo made the touchdown, ending the game with a victory for the Grizzlies. But Jongin found himself screaming for another entire reason altogether when he saw Kyungsoo still lying down and Sehun’s worried face when the jock took off his helmet and crouched beside his best friend._

_“Kyungsoo!” Jongin didn’t even know he was already running towards the other. Bear costume and whatnot, he didn’t care if he was drawing attention to himself as he streaked onto the field. _Kyungsoo._ That was all he could think about, and if the other was alright._

_“You can go in you know.” Sehun appeared beside him with a somewhat bemused smile. Jongin practically jumped a foot in the air, so startled for he had been creeping around the entrance of to the locker room, trying to peep in to see if Kyungsoo was fine. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed in. He was also still dressed in his bear costume mind you. Which, of course, made Sehun burst out laughing because Jongin looked like a bear caught with his paw in a jar of stolen honey._

_The celebrations were still ongoing outside, if the constant cheers, trumpets and drums weren’t evident enough. “I-I… I don’t t-think I-I’m allowed in…” Jongin shook his head and retreated slightly, moving to stand behind a hamper of used jerseys lined with blood, sweat and quite possibly tears; happy ones. “And I-I don’t think h-he wants to see m-me…” Sehun stared at him silently for a minute before a soft chuckle escaped his lips._

__I see why Kyungsoo always looks at you in that way. I can’t compare, really._ It was high time he let that thought go. “Go on in.” Jongin squeaked when Sehun grabbed him by the arm and shoved him into the room. The door slammed shut right as the other’s last words reached his ears._

_“You’re the only one Kyungsoo wants to see, trust me.”_

_A nervous Jongin stood frozen by the door for a couple more seconds before he stepped further in. Empty, the room was so silent, most of the players still out parading on the field, but he knew Kyungsoo was in here somewhere. Jongin walked past a couple more lockers slowly before he spotted the one he was looking for. His boyfriend looked so small, sitting down on a bench with his head cradled in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. If Jongin didn’t know better, he would have thought that the other had just lost the match, not win the championship and the accolade of MVP of the tournament to boot._

_“Kyungsoo?” Jongin hurried over and sat on the opposite bench facing the other as big eyes stared up at him. “Are you okay?” He frowned under his suit. Kyungsoo probably heard and not see the concern from his voice for he smiled a second later._

_“I’m fine, just a minor dislocation of my right shoulder.” It could have been worse, Jongin knew that, but that didn’t stop him from worrying._

_“Dislocated?” There was an embarrassing crack in his voice for his pitch had shot right up, but he barely paid attention. “I t-told you to be careful!” Jongin pouted, looking up when Kyungsoo stood on his feet._

_He was pleasantly surprised when the other walked into him. Kyungsoo stood between his legs and crushed him into a hug, huge bear head smashed against his hard chest. It was just instinctive for Jongin’s arms to wrap themselves around his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him even closer._

_“Thank you for caring enough to worry about me, Jonginnie…” He was sure he was blushing when Kyungsoo landed a gentle kiss on his head. _Screw you, bear mascot, for getting in the way!_ The other must have read his mind for Kyungsoo was removing the costume a second later._

_Jongin’s face was sweaty, hair also in a wet mess after being stuck in the suffocating suit for so long. But Kyungsoo didn’t mind it one bit. He smiled when he tilted Jongin’s chin up to press their lips to each other’s lightly. _Oh my…_ Jongin quickly shut his eyes and reveled in the soft touch of his boyfriend’s kiss. “Thank you.” Kyungsoo murmured before pressing forward with more pressure, Jongin easily moving along as they danced around each other’s lips._

_It was warm, not just because his body was still stuck in the furry costume, but because of the passion from Kyungsoo’s kiss. They broke apart from their lip-lock after a long few minutes, the most satisfied grin on the quarterback’s face, and the shyest blush on Jongin’s cheeks. It was clear from the soft whine that had escaped the latter’s lips when they separated that he wasn’t quite ready to part. Jongin slapped himself inwardly; he sounded so needy and it was embarrassing._

_Kyungsoo saw him reach out for the bear head, most probably trying to hide in it, but he quickly slapped it away. Jongin gaped as he watch the mascot bounce off the ground before rolling ahead some more where it lay desolate in a corner. “Don’t hide yourself from me, Jongin. I could go on and do more, but I won’t.” Kyungsoo smiled, biting down on his bottom lip. The look he was giving Jongin made him anticipate what was to come._

_“More?” Jongin squeaked. Kyungsoo chuckled and sat himself down on Jongin’s lap, forcing the latter to let out a sharp gasp and lean back against the locker. “More.” Kyungsoo nodded and kissed him fervently. Jongin mewled and held onto the other’s waist tightly. He sure as hell knew what Kyungsoo was referring to when he promised more. He can’t say he didn’t want it too. _Oh my god, how desperate am I?_ Jongin slapped himself inwardly. Kyungsoo was giggling at the growing blush on his face, eyes not oblivious to the emotions playing out on his face._

_Jongin briefly wondered if it was too late to reach for the mascot head again._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in this bonus part. Don't read on if you are not comfortable. Thanks!

“You’re sure about this?” Kyungsoo asked, lips hovering just an inch off Jongin’s. The latter could only shrug and lean forward, whining a little when his boyfriend shifted back instead; he craved the other’s kiss so much _why wasn’t he reciprocating?_

“K-Kyungsoo!” Jongin huffed and pouted a little before a blush grew on his cheeks. _Oh god, I sounded so desperate. Control yourself, Kim Jongin._ He whined and buried his face in his hands, wincing a little when his head jerked back from the contact. He forgot he still had his bear hands on.

Kyungsoo couldn’t help himself; he burst out laughing, despite the evil eye Jongin was trying to give him. Keyword: try. He couldn’t possibly take his adorable (still dressed in his bear suit) boyfriend seriously. Kyungsoo wanted so much to pepper the other’s face with kisses so he did just that. Jongin found himself blushing a ridiculous shade of red when the jock took his face in his hands and placed a kiss on the bridge of his nose. It was very much gentle, but all the more endearing. The next one was rougher; Kyungsoo pressing hard and nibbling on Jongin’s bottom lip unashamedly, before he landed another two pecks on each of the other’s cheeks.

“Let’s get you out of this alright?” The quarterback whispered, a hint of something else in his low voice. Jongin couldn’t help but shudder in anticipation when he felt the other’s warm breath against the shell of his ear. The pair exchanged shy glances when Kyungsoo helped remove the costume off Jongin; the sound of the zip sliding down the latter’s back was loud in the otherwise quiet locker room, the coiling feeling at the pit of his stomach was building gradually. “Step out of it, Jongin…” Kyungsoo whispered.

The said boy nodded twice before stepping out of the costume pooling at his feet. He stumbled a little in his haste to be free of the pile of fur, but Kyungsoo would always be there to catch him if he falls. 

“Easy there, grizzly.” He chuckled, hands holding Jongin’s arms firmly, but with gentleness all the same. “S-Sorry…” The younger ducked his head in embarrassment, whining when Kyungsoo pulled him to his chest. Jongin’s shirt was damp, sweat accumulated from having spent hours in that confined space.

He was very inexperienced; Jongin was a shy boy that would blush to his roots at the mere mention of bra or boobies. The way this was going, he wasn’t confident that he wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of the other man and put Kyungsoo off. “Just relax and don’t think too much, Jongin.” Kyungsoo reassured him once more. It was obvious from the slight tremble he felt when he ran a palm down the spine of Jongin that the other was nervous. Beyond nervous.

“Is this your first time, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked, lips curling up into a kind smile when Jongin’s whole being froze before he nodded once, twice, jerkily. 

“Y-Yes…” Jongin muttered, still adamantly staring at the tiled floor. “Is t-that not o-okay?” He looked up sadly, the beginning of a pout already growing on his face. “Of course it’s okay!” Kyungsoo rushed to assure him before tilting his face up to kiss the taller male. “More than okay actually, since it means I will be your first.” They smiled at each other.

“But I’m not doing this here.” Kyungsoo backed away and Jongin inadvertently whined, “Why!” face flushing after he had realized what he did. “W-Why… Is it b-because I-I’m not good e-enough?” Kyungsoo almost shrieked when Jongin grabbed at his hips, pulling him closer despite not being strong enough to actually budge the jock. The younger’s hands were fumbling to unclip the button on Kyungsoo’s pants. “J-Jongin…” He was silenced at the pleading look the other gave him. “P-Please let me, K-Kyungsoo…” Jongin whispered.

It was like a soft plea; it was like he had a point to prove, not to others but more so to himself.

So Kyungsoo’s arms went slack, head dipping in a silent agreement that Jongin could carry on. The smile on the other’s face was almost victorious, but also half bit shy. Teeth biting down on his plump bottom lip, Jongin pulled down the zip to Kyungsoo’s pants, helping the older to step out of it in nothing but his tight briefs. He gulped when he caught a glimpse of the other’s size; the outline of his cock painfully visible under the thin layer of cloth over it.

He must have been gaping at it for quite awhile because the next thing he heard was Kyungsoo’s nervous chuckle before the other’s hand was leading his forward. Jongin slipped his finger under the waistband and tugged the underwear down, tossing it aside carelessly for he couldn’t keep his eyes off the member that hung heavily between Kyungsoo’s thick thighs. Jongin settled on his knees and looked up at the other; a silent ask for permission. “Go ahead…” The captain whispered.

“It’s s-so big…” Jongin could slap himself when he realized that he had said it out loud. Hand timidly reaching out to grab Kyungsoo by the base, inciting a sharp gasp from the man above, Jongin gave it a gentle drag down the length of his cock. “Don’t feel pressured, Jongin.” Kyungsoo probably sensed his insecurity, the worry that he wouldn’t be able to pleasure Kyungsoo as well as his previous partners. Jongin nodded and slid his hand up and down slowly first before speeding up, reveling in surprise and self-delight that he could get Kyungsoo’s face to scrunch up like that.

“J-Jongin…” The other bit down on his bottom lip and stared down at the said boy with hooded eyes when Jongin started to fondle his balls. He didn’t know he had it in him, but Jongin pulled Kyungsoo down to sit on the bench, shuffling closer on his knees. At this position, his face was just inches away from the erect member. Growing more confident with the way Kyungsoo always praised him after every tug, after every caress, Jongin leaned forward and exhaled against the tip of the other’s cock. Kyungsoo almost kneed him in the face at the sudden assault.

This time, the one finding it hard to speak was Kyungsoo as Jongin wrapped his plump lips around the head and slowly slid down the length. “J-Jongin…” Kyungsoo grunted as he was enveloped with so much heat. It was welcomed heat though. To say Kyungsoo was surprised with how Jongin had been so eager would be an understatement. He almost came just by seeing how his boyfriend went all the way; nose touching the light wisp of hair above, the tip of his cock resting on the back of the other’s throat. Kyungsoo was worried that Jongin would choke. He wasn’t exactly considered just average-sized. _Does he not have a gag reflex?_

Just as quickly as he had sucked in Kyungsoo, Jongin pulled back before bobbing his head up and down, relying on what little knowledge and knowhow Baekhyun and Chanyeol had managed to impart on him before he got too shy and bolted, to pleasure Kyungsoo. “How are you so good at this, Jongin?” The footballer let his head fall back to rest against the locker behind him. If anyone were to walk in right now, they would surely be treated to quite a sight; Jongin was kneeling with his face in between Kyungsoo’s legs, sucking him off like his life depended on how good it made the older feel.

“Oh my god.” Kyungsoo threaded his fingers through Jongin’s bed of hair and tugged, not in any way painfully. His hips were jerking forward now, anxiously looking for Jongin’s mouth whenever the other pulled back, as if it didn’t want to miss the heat of his cavern for long. “Y-Yeah… Don’t hold back, Jongin.” Kyungsoo grunted as the coiling feeling in his stomach threatened to make him spill.

“I’m going to come.” The jock pulled Jongin’s head off. “Back away if you don’t want me coming down your throat, Jongin.” Kyungsoo warned, trying to remove himself from his boyfriend’s mouth, but Jongin insisted to stay. He meant to say “I-I don’t m-mind” but the vibrations brought on by his mumbling around Kyungsoo’s cock were the final nails in the coffin.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo came with a wrecked shout of the other’s name, hips shuddering as he tried to calm himself down from his orgasmic high. And Jongin took his boyfriend’s cum like a champion. He just stayed still, hands gripping Kyungsoo’s hips tightly as the warm liquid spurted on his tongue, before sliding further down and down his throat. Every little suck he managed made Kyungsoo jerk sensitively.

“Oh god.” He finally allowed Kyungsoo to withdraw with a lewd “pop” before standing shakily from having knelt for too long. The other’s lips were on his at once, tongue trying its best to invade Jongin’s mouth. The younger sighed in satisfaction when Kyungsoo sucked on his tongue, not at all put off or ashamed that he could taste himself in Jongin’s mouth.

“Jongin…” They parted after a minute of heavy making out, Kyungsoo staring at the other wordlessly. Jongin can’t say he wasn’t anticipating that his boyfriend take care of him now. His gym shorts were getting pretty uncomfortable from how he had also gotten hard in the process of giving Kyungsoo a blowjob. “T-Touch me, Soo…” Jongin stepped closer, but Kyungsoo was going to have to deny him. “I won’t take you now, Jongin.” The said boy pouted and whined. “Why!” Jongin folded his arms across his chest and stomped his feet childishly.

“Not here, cause you don’t deserve for your first time to be in this stinky locker room.” Kyungsoo smiled and held onto the other’s hand. “I want it to be perfect.” Jongin gulped at the predatory look in Kyungsoo’s eye. “Come home with me?”

Was there even a chance Jongin would say no?

 

“I-I’m nervous…” Jongin blurted as he watched Kyungsoo lift his shirt over his head, throwing it backwards without a secondary glance. He was already buck naked, embarrassingly so, as he leaned against the headboard waiting. They were in Kyungsoo’s room, the house being void of any parents since Kyungsoo had mentioned that they were away on a business trip. 

“Don’t be, Jonginnie…” The said boy gulped as he watched Kyungsoo slip off his pants and boxers simultaneously. Do Kyungsoo was quite glorious in his birthday suit; solid abs in place, the inviting trail of hair down to his very attractive cock. It should have made Jongin more self-conscious about his own body, but the way Kyungsoo had reassured him and spoke of him in nothing but good (and lewd) ways had filled him with satisfaction.

“I’m going to take care of you…” Kyungsoo quickly retrieved the small bottle of lube he had prepared by his bedside table and tapped Jongin’s knees. He almost lost his grip on the bottle when his boyfriend’s legs parted, granting him the most beautiful view of the waiting entrance. Kyungsoo exhaled deeply, eyes somewhat dazed as he slathered three of his fingers in the lubricant before resting his index finger lightly at the puckered hole. Jongin held his breath. 

“T-Touch me, Soo… p-please.”

And Kyungsoo quickly acceded to the other’s request, finger slipping into the tight, tight hole as gentle as he tried to be. It was weird and kind of uncomfortable the first time someone fingered his ass, but Jongin could learn to grow used to it. He wanted to grow accustomed to it; he wished for many of such times with Kyungsoo in the future. “I’m adding in another one, okay?” Kyungsoo always treated him with such care and it made Jongin’s heart swell every time.

Soon, one finger had switched to two, three; Jongin was already panting as Kyungsoo continued to thrust his fingers in and out. Sometimes, the latter made a come-hither motion and those were the times when the drag of Kyungsoo’s fingers along his walls brought him closer to the edge. “Shift over for me, Jongin.” Kyungsoo withdrew all his fingers suddenly and sat down, back leaning against the headboard. Jongin got the message immediately and straddled his boyfriend’s thighs. “I’ll h-help you…” He fumbled with the bottle of lube adorably before Kyungsoo helped him get the cap open.

“Shit! S-Sorry!” Jongin pouted when he accidently squeezed out a large blob of the sticky liquid. “It’s okay, Jongin… relax.” Kyungsoo chuckled and held the other’s hand, helping guide it up and down his length to spread it evenly over his member. “You ready?” He looked up into a nervous Jongin’s eyes when they were done.

Jongin’s heart was pounding in his chest and he couldn’t help but shudder in anticipation of the breach. “Yeah.” He nodded determinedly before hovering over Kyungsoo, the tip of the latter’s cock already aligned with his waiting entrance. Gently, Kyungsoo held Jongin’s hips and lowered him down, his cock penetrating the latter. Both boys groaned as Kyungsoo’s girth stretched the other’s tight walls. “You are unbelievably tight, my Jongin…” He was still sliding down, only letting out a short puff of air when he finally took in Kyungsoo’s whole length. _Oh my…_ Jongin’s eyes fell shut when he wriggled; accidently bringing on a new wave of _what it was he couldn’t say_.

“You okay, baby?” Kyungsoo waited patiently, hungry eyes committing this view of Jongin to memory. He could finally call the other his own and Kyungsoo couldn’t wait to move the way he wanted, to thrust up into Jongin relentlessly. He was pleasantly surprised when Jongin placed his hands on his chest, lifted himself slightly off Kyungsoo’s cock before allowing gravity to do its work. “Fuck!” Kyungsoo cursed when Jongin bounced on his cock a couple more times. “Am I-I doing it r-right, Soo?” The younger asked shyly, despite still riding Kyungsoo like a seasoned professional.

“Yes, just like that baby…” Kyungsoo’s head fell back against the pillow, hands coming up to cup each of Jongin’s butt cheeks as he watched his boyfriend bounce up and down his proud member with hooded eyes. “Oh my…” Jongin tilted back slightly, back arching as his hand came to rest near Kyungsoo’s knees, the boy’s own cock hitting Kyungsoo’s stomach loudly every time he came back down. The skin slapping on skin sound was such a turn on, though not as much as the raspy moans that escaped Jongin’s lips as he gradually let himself go.

When it was clear that Jongin couldn’t get himself to move as fast as he wanted for the one on top had started to falter in pace because of the building pleasure, Kyungsoo manhandled his boyfriend off of him and laid him on the bed gently. He was back buried deep in Jongin a half-second later. _Finally_ … Jongin mewled as Kyungsoo pummeled into him with so much aggression. “Y-Yes, yes… p-please Soo…” The younger gripped the other’s shoulders tightly as Kyungsoo’s deep, hard thrusts continued. Fuck… Jongin whimpered for it didn’t look as if the jock’s stamina was nearing its end anytime soon.

He looked up with wide eyes as Kyungsoo kept up his pace with the intent to drive them both to orgasm. It was obviously working if you asked Jongin. The snap of the other’s hips, along with how the head of Kyungsoo’s cock prodded repeatedly at that sensitive bundle of cells deep inside him was soon making him explode. “Kyungsoo!” Jongin screamed and squeezed his boyfriend’s biceps tightly as his orgasm wrecked him on the inside, body shuddering as he ejaculated warm semen all over himself. Kyungsoo was staring down at him as he rammed in even harder if it was possible. Apparently, the tight contraction of Jongin’s walls during his orgasm was too much to bear as he found himself releasing inside soon after.

Kyungsoo continued to rock his hips as he milked himself dry, determined to stay within his precious boyfriend for as long as he could. All this while, Jongin was whimpering but enjoying the feeling of himself being filled up with all the love he could get from Kyungsoo. “S-Stay…” He couldn’t help but whisper and wrap his arms around the other, forcing him to lie on his stained body when he tried to remove himself. “I’m not going anywhere.” Kyungsoo mumbled in reply, kissing him right on the lips, before burying his face at the crook of Jongin’s neck. “How was it, Jongin?” He peeked open an eye a minute later, nervous to hear the other’s honest opinion.

_It was perfect like you said you wanted my first time to be…_

“I think I love you” was what Jongin said instead. And he was greeted with an even brighter smile from Kyungsoo. “You might have been blind previously to not see that I’ve liked you since the very beginning, but I sure hope you’re no longer oblivious because I’m going to spell it out for you, Kim Jongin. Listen closely…”

“I. Love. You.”


End file.
